Still up

Once again, I am up after 1 am. I can recall my insomnias while growing up. I would stay up late reading then as I became a teenager, it seems that my brain would not shut down. Melatonin would do nothing, I remember calling my dad's office to leave a voicemail to express my exasperation: I felt exhausted but I couldn't shut down. A doctor suggested I write when up late at night. I took up the exercise, I felt so confused by what I read in the morning. It seemed that my mind was going over every events that had occurred the day before. It seemed that I was trying to make sense of it. I was so exhausted and tired, I wrote outside of the lines and not my normal writing as it rushed. When this was brought up, I was told "your brain doesn't shut down" essentially my brain was overworking. Well, now it makes sense. I can't control my worries and needs to figure things out. I wish I could be in control of my thoughts so I could cease worrying over things I cannot change. This is no life for anyone. Though this is clearly something that many of us suffer with.